Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Busy

So far the strangest thing about not having a job is how busy I feel.  I feel busy every day, just as busy if not busier than when I had a job.  What the freak is that all about?  It is like time is compressing in on itself and I'm left to wonder both where the time went and how can I do a better job of it not going there so quickly.

Granted, some time is just wasted.  After writing in the morning, I always take a lunch break.  And it's very easy for the lunch break to become an early afternoon break.  I follow far too many shows on Hulu currently (I don't have a TV, but I do have a laptop).  But, if I'm being honest, I also spent a decent amount of time futzing on the internet when I had a job.  You can use the internet fairly efficiently if you are fitting it in between meetings, or while on hold, or in those twenty minutes before the work day ends and you realize you don't have time to start anything new.  But when you aren't using the internet to self-medicate, it's kind of less fun.  It feels like an interruption.  So, other than Hulu (I just have to see how Revenge ends!), I don't feel like I misuse internet time.

One of the places the time is going is to sleep.  I cannot describe how much I enjoy feeling well-rested.  I don't sleep more than I need to, but I do get enough sleep on a super-consistent basis, something that hasn't happened since...childhood?  Being well-rested makes me seventeen kinds of happy.

I spent a lot of time at work thinking about how unhappy work made me.  A lot of time.  Now that I don't have to think those thoughts, I kind of expected more mental space.  And it's there, but not as much as I'd like it to be.  I'm clearly not using my mind as I could.

This is not an interesting rant.  I feel satisfied with my morning writing schedule and I have a good mix of friends, literary, volunteering and the like in the evenings, it's just these damn afternoons I haven't figured out.  I'm afraid it all comes down to giving up Hulu.  Just as soooooon as I find out how this season of Revenge ends.

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