Skip to main content

Such a Long Time

Today marks my seven year anniversary in San Francisco.  It has been my longest love affair yet.  Apparently, it's making me wax nostalgic:

I'm currently cleaning through things in my closet and have come across boxes heavy with old letters and cards from friends throughout the years.  In sorting through, I knew I wanted to keep some representation of everyone who has been significant in my life, but didn't need to keep every single blessed note.  (There were a few letters from people I honestly can't remember, and I'm guessing they can't remember me either.  After reassuring myself it was life, not Alzheimer's, I tossed them). So I wanted to do the letters the courtesy of a read-through before recycling them.  And I was struck by how about 95% of them all began with something like the phrase "I'm sorry it's been so long since I've last written."  It didn't matter if what era of my life the letter was posted, the sentiment was universally a feeling of guilt.  Which is now how I often feel about not calling dear long-distance friends, and a when I do finally call, I usually begin with "I'm so sorry it's been such a long time since I called."

Anyway, after spending several hours in my closet sorting through memories and mementos, I emerged as if from some kind of marathon therapy session.  It's been a long time since I've written a letter to a friend, but I do occasionally send cards, and now feel even more recommitted to doing so.  When I found cards from people in my life who have since passed on, they took on much greater meaning than when I first received them. And I loved finding little treasures like my deceased grandfather's phrase "There isn't a klinker in the bunch" in regard to his children and grandchildren. Being reminded of whole parts of my life I'd forgotten about, or friendships that are so changed they are unrecognizable, or of people who greatly influenced my life leaves me worn out, but in a good way.  I'm glad I kept boxes of letters for this long and I'm glad I could let some of the letters go.

It's never quite hit home as much how electronic my correspondence has become though until I poured through the boxes.  I'm not sure I'd be as inclined to look up the length of an email history with a friend, but I'm grateful that I can.  And with the advent of facebook, for all it's faults, I've been able to reconnect with some of my former-letter-writing friends in a way that is very satisfying.

But nothing beats those little homemade cards, or letters with hand-drawn stationary with the simple familiarity of a friend's handwriting.  Those had to be kept.

Comments

  1. therapy session! so true.

    i recall receiving an encouraging hand written note from you when i was a new mommy to noah and emilie. i remember that your thoughtful words refreshed me. i kept it on my fridge for years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good grief! I just realized your sweet comment was hidden here - thank you for it Denise! If in my note I predicted you would be a fantastic mom (as you have always been a fantastic person), I think I pretty much nailed it. :)
      I have to say, finding notes I'd forgotten about that really made an impact on my life made me want to send people notes. For some reason along the way, I had stopped believing in the power of an encouraging note. Sometimes, when you hear no response (which was certainly not the case with you - you have always been super encouraging) it's hard to think you should keep it up. But now I'm more inclined to just enjoy the gift of writing the note with the hopes it makes a difference.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Litquake 2012 Report

I've been avoiding putting this together, because a part of me really doesn't want this year's Litquake festival to be over already.  The other part of me is still cranky-tired, wandering around trying to get to all those projects I said I'd get to after Litquake, and feeling post-Christmas like. In short, this year's Litquake was AMAZING.  Every year has been awesome, but this one was particularly special for me because I got to actually help plan the awesome.  As a volunteer during the festival for the past several years, I definitely felt like I contributed to making each event I helped at awesome, but this year, being on the committee,* I got to witness the tremendous build up to the festival that happens the whole year prior.  The amount of love, sweat and time that goes into it is incredible, and I'm not sure I've ever been part of something so cool.  Which is not to say I'm not still cranky-tired and looking forward to feeling fully recovered.

Writing Exercise #2 for Setting as Character

Today I tromped all over San Francisco to collect sensory details, photos (and a snack or two) from each of the neighborhoods that my novel's characters live in.  Now, they are not real people, but they do live in a real city, so the fun of it all is finding little details that I would never have noticed before because I'm trying to look for them through my character's eyes.  I discovered a few inconsistencies that I'll need to go back and fix (silly things like the wrong bus line, or the fact that type of architecture doesn't appear in that 'hood), and found a few details I will want to pepper the text with.  Mostly, I just had a really fun time walking all over the city (I clocked 6.5 miles of walking!), and BONUS, the water in my apartment was shut off for the day so it really was the perfect excuse to get the heck out.  Oh, and the weather was about as gorgeous as could possibly be.  Okay, now I'm just annoying myself with my own happiness.  Here are som

What To Expect When You Are Expecting A Pandemic

“When I think about all that has to transpire to get from pregnancy to the birth, I am overwhelmed by time and the unknown. It’s not useful to contemplate. There is only today, and it is good.” I documented my move from ambivalence about parenting, to IVF, to motherhood, as well as all of Year One. I did it longhand because that’s what I did back then. So now, finally, I’m typing all those pages up, in part because of the great What If that living amid a pandemic creates. And I came across this yesterday and it is so true for the current moment, for this, the fifth week of Sheltering in Place. Ways this time is like pregnancy: It can make you fat. It will definitely make you crave near-constant meals and snacks. You will swing from feeling good to anxiety-laden, angry, irritable and back again several times a day. You will want to know how this will all unfold, how hard it will get, exactly how you and your life will be changed. You can’t know any of that. Ther