Whenever we hit a new month, I am caught off guard. So the fact that six of them have already passed since I last put on a pair of work slacks to sit in a cubicle has me pretty scandalized. Part of me is quickly tallying if there's even enough time to accomplish all those little things I meant to do. The rest of me however is really just finally sinking into a feeling of joy and purpose. It has taken me six months to finally be able to begin to feel like I could (possibly, if I had to) approach the task of finding the next job with a clear perspective. I'm just finally able to see the ways I made the last situation much worse than it needed to be, and resolve to never again enter into work with that mindset. It had a lot to do with completely compromising who I am because what I did was more important. Highly ironic, because what I did was often so unimportant. But there were a few things I did that I'm still proud of, and those are the things I can finally begin to extract and create meaning with. I may even do some blogging about them.
Other things I've learned so far in the first half:
- Even with sufficient time to do them, some tasks are still abhorrent. See submitting stories and query letters. Yet they remain critical to the whole life of writing.
- Being able to be yourself for 24/7 is one of the biggest gifts in the world. I need to not willingly choose a job where 40+ hours a week of that is compromised.
- Even with sufficient time, sometimes writing sucks. It just slogs and makes you feel like you are the most boring, untalented human ever. Or worse, just plain mediocre.
- If you don't leave your desk as often as possible for a coffee or cookie break, it turns out you lose a few pounds.
- Looking relaxed sometimes creates envy in others. Envy can be uncomfortable. But apologizing for being relaxed is probably some kind of terrible sin and isn't worth it.
- Laptops make for really great resting places if you're a kitten.