On Why We Don't Integrate More

The recording of my thoughts about THE GREAT INTEGRATION has taken so much longer than planned. The three weeks of winter break didn’t leave mental space or time to write reflectively. It rarely left time to hold a thought long enough between requests for snacks or play time. That’s okay. Those three weeks were important for different reasons. But now, my attention span is returning. And I want to talk about why we often DON’T self-integrate. Or at least, why I haven’t.

I’m slow to thinking, processing, writing. But even slower to sharing. My introvert self can find it one step too far to also have to talk about what I’m thinking about, even if I’m often thinking in social media post-style. I’ll think: oh! I want to share this! But often something else is needed from me at that moment and when time does again become available, I’m tired. And the idea of thoughtfully articulating what I originally meant to say is very easy to dismiss as no longer necessary.

the ginkgos of 2022 were exceptional

The current moment always feels more urgent, relevant, valuable. And in many ways it is, right? As some say, all we have is the current moment. Which is true in some regards, as in I can only act right now, I can’t undo or redo something from the past. And what I choose to do/say/think right now will impact the next moment and the four hundred billion after that. BUT. I don’t have just this current moment. I have the accumulated wisdom of all the moments that came before. And that is mine to use. To choose from. To choose differently with. 

So much of life these days is too influenced by the aggressive insistence of NOW and staying relevant and at the top of peoples’ feeds by posting things to catch attention NOW. And now is important, but only because it’s also connected to the before and after. 

So as my 2022 integration ideas slip into 2023 and are still unfolding even as I start to consider what word/phrase/intention/mantra I want to choose for 2023, I will take a deep breath and let them be relevant without an expiration date. 

this new bud appeared the
same day of the dropped leaves above;
old and new in the same moment