Beatrix (who turns four next month) loves to hear and tell stories about when she was a baby. She loves to make reference to something that happened three months ago as “back when I was a baby.” She’s constantly taking in new data about the world and naturally integrating it into her holistic understanding of herself.
I remember doing that too as a child. Of being fascinated by my personal history and having a crystal clear picture of it. I lost that somewhere along the way, in the amassing of so many experiences, in the exponential-ization of my life. At times I felt I could keep a handle on it through journaling. The years when I didn’t journal feel lost to me in a way. And then I lost the sense of permission to look at my whole life and call it mine, or be able to explain it to myself.
|She recently grabbed my phone to take photos and now I have a treasure collection of things she deemed photo-worthy, including her cute little fox sock|
So this very intentional integration has felt like giving myself back to myself so that I can access all of the wisdom I’ve been allowed to live in, accumulate, develop.
I want to be more like Beatrix when I pick up something new and can connect it to another part of myself. There’s a joy in that. And it makes it solid, less forgettable.
The next time something in the moment zings to a moment in the past, don’t resist. You aren’t (or don’t have to) live in the past. You can simply connect more of yourself to the present moment.
|Beatrix capturing her own reflection|